MORE! MORE! MORE!

By lil omm , In , 7:28 PM

I'm actually disappointed.  I am REALLY trying not to be. I am trying to embrace where we are, who she is.. and all the things that come along with parenting a  3.5 year old. The good and the bad.

Mainly, I admit it.. my daughter is a sugar, movie, "stuff " junkie.

I remember just a few short months ago.. at DISNEY WORLD.. ( nonetheless) the girl didn't ask for a THING! We took her to a store before we left and said you can pick anything! And I think she picked a sticker or something. Really, she just wasn't interested. When we got back everyone asked how was Disney- and I really remember saying.. it was great, especially b/c she wasn't in the " Can I have... I want.. PLEASE MOMMY" stage.

Now, I am drowning. Everyday from the moment she wakes up, I have to hear " Can I watch a movie? Can I have a special treat? Can I have gum.. how about a Mint? "

"Mom, are we going to the bank today ( b/c they have lollipops! ) "
 " One more cookie.. please! PLEASE! "

" Mom, just listen. I DON'T have a small Ariel, I only have a BIG Ariel. I want a small Ariel." 
" Mom, PLEASE get me Snow White. I don't have any Snow Whites, except the small Snow White"

This goes on and on and on.. and did I mention she's obsessed with McDonalds. Yes, she is. If she sees the golden arches.. she starts yelling , "  I want a HAMBURGER".

I know this is common, I have spent many years around children ages 3-8... it's different now that it's my own children making these demands. And mostly, I'm sad about it. Very naively, I thought my child would be different. That if we allowed certain things sometimes, but not all the time, that she would be cool with it.. so we don't say " NO, NEVER." to most things. We say , "sure, once in a while you can ..." BUT, it's not working...

When she starts yelling at me the things she wants, my heart gets heavy. Slowly, with a calm voice I just remind her of all the good she has. I tell her she has so many things to be grateful for.  I just get all mom like and ask her if she appreciates all she has. She doesn't seem to get it.  We read stories and sing songs and engage in dialogue together about gratitude. We chant, practice posture and meditate.  She has so much. So much love, so much stuff, a full belly, an amazing family and group of friends...

We talk at length about being thankful for what we have and about helping others... about 2 seconds later.. she asks me, "can I watch a movie after dinner?" I 've set boundaries... movies only on weekends. But, she continues to ask. I thought that taking the middle road with tv, sugar, toys, etc would help create a relatively balanced child.   I'm learning that she pushes limits. She tests me and my capacity to stay consistent and grounded.

And the lesson?  I love that SHE TEACHES ME how to be patient , kind and loving in every situation. that after a  HUGE tantrum b/c I won't let her do something.. she crawls in my lap and snuggles me and becomes a baby again, just for a minute. 

I have a breathing practice that I have been doing when she gets all loud and tantrumy.. ( is that a word? )

inhale count of 4 - hold count of 7- exhale count of 8 ( repeat 4 times)

seems to be working , at least to cool my system down so I can deal with her demands more rationally.

other tips? 

1 comments:

Heidi said...

Hey Pleasance, I don't know what it's like yet to have a tantrumy 3-year-old, but I thought this article that a Waldorf teacher sent me about tantrums might be helpful. Or it might not. http://mothering.com/parenting/a-fresh-approach-to-tantrums
She talks about how tantrums are healthy. I don't know if Saylor is having the same kind, but I can imagine having a new baby brother may have something to do with wanting more of this and more of that?? Hang in there!
Love, Heidi

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