Milton Leon Silicki IV “Milo”  * Due Date July 3, 2011

The entire pregnancy lil milo was measuring a few weeks ahead, a lil big.. so I wasn’t sure we would hit the due date. But it came and it passed.

July 4, 2011. A really great day. We went to the Palisades Parade and thanks to our friends  Jen and Glen who hosted us at their house with drinks, food and a potty! Saylor loved the parade. She waved the red , white and blue! We had a nice time at the Palisades Park after and then went home to nap. it was delish. We headed back out to Aunt Chry’s BBQ and enjoyed friends for the afternoon and evening.. heading home to watch fireworks in bed.. I had some cramps at this point, but nothing too unusual. I went to bed early and slept well.

July 5th, 2011 I woke up with cramps and felt a bit tired and out of it. I thought it was from all the energy and activity that had happened on the 4th. Saylor was a little over a week late, so I was prepared to be late with lil Milo too..  I dropped Saylor at camp and ran errands. Went to the container store for something for the studio.. went to the studio to drop something off.. went home to check some emails. I noticed that I could read the emails but was having trouble responding. I was tired, felt out of it. really out of it. I called my best friend  ( meredith ) and asked her to come over and play with Saylor when she got home from camp, so I could sleep. I was thinking.. if I wake up and am still cramping then I am in labor. If I sleep and they go away, then it’s false labor OR I ‘m just SO tired from the 4th! A 3 hour long nap.. and I woke up.. still cramping. Called Mel and told him what was going on, and prepared Meredith to go home and get her stuff. ( she was our on call person for Saylor). Mel came home and grilled hot dogs for Saylor and I had a bite of one.. little did I know that would be my last food for a long time.

7-8pm - Meredith was home, showering and packing up. Mel and I put Saylor to bed regularly. My “cramps” were intensifying. Saylor went to bed so easily this night.. which was not like her! By 8pm things had intensified. Called Ursula ( the doula) and I told her I wasn’t sure if I was in labor or it was just cramps... was hard for me to tell the difference. She told me to get in the bath, see if they went away and call her back. I texted Whit ( the midwife) to let her know what was going on and give her a heads up.  saylor continued to sleep.. the bath took some intensity away for about 10 minutes. The contractions/cramps in the tub were not as intense but then I needed to get out and move around a bit more, things were happening fast.. We called my dad in Boston and told him so he could make his way here from Boston. ( to help with Say)

Ursula arrived and I was in the living room, laboring on the ball in a squat, moving around the house. Meredith arrived. Everyone was really quiet, whispering, the house was pretty dark and calm. Ursula started timing contractions, helped with my bags and let Whitney know we were on our way!

10:00ish- We arrived at GW. I had a contraction in the driveway to ER.. an ambulance was coming in.. got up to the room and was greeted by Whitney and Laura. I was 5 cms when we arrived and Whitney did some Fabulous midwife technique  “ manual cervical realignment “ and I was 7 cm’s. THey put me in the shower! It felt great, and was a nice break for a bit. ( 20 mins or so) . I couldn’t get enough Tea Tree oil .. I was inhaling it on a washcloth ( don’t ask.. been addicted to this scent the WHOLE pregnancy) , had some rescue remedy and did some laboring on toilet.  My water broke on the toilet which was very convenient.

Things were not really progressing. I could tell that he wasn’t moving. I was OVERWHELMED with nausea .. this had been going on most of the pregnancy and since earlier in the evening.. but it got SO bad..

I remember at some point during this time, looking up at Ursula and saying” please help me” .. I think this was when I “hit the wall” I remember storming around the room, saying I could’t do it.. and just kind of getting frustration out of my system.

Shortly after, Whitney and I had some alone time in the bathroom. Lights off, quiet room, Laura brought me an icy cold coke ( when was the last time I drank soda??) which gave me the energy to move/progress forward.  Things get a bit foggy here..

July 6, 2011
There was some time on all 4’s.. some time on my side, some figure eights with my hips, some squats.. lots of breathing and yoga postures. Eventually lil buddy moved his head, and we were good to go..  shortly after Milo was born.  He was born “sunny side up” ( What does it mean when a baby is in the "posterior position"? When a baby is head-down but facing your abdomen, he's said to be in the occiput posterior (OP) position — or posterior position, for short. The term refers to the fact that the back of your baby's skull (the occipital bone) is in the back (or posterior) of your pelvis.- baby center)  and asynclitic. ( Asynclitism is a term to describe a tilt of the baby's head. The asynclitic baby has their head tilted as if listening?  Instead of the crown coming first, the parietal bone aims first. The diameter of the head is bigger this way. The vertebrae in the neck aren't lined up well with the head and the baby can't help to get born as well as the asynclitic baby- found this online!!!)

Then while still connected, Milo was with me. He laid on me.. covered in our own fluids, but there he was.. all 8.5 pounds of him was breathing and opening his eyes and being so perfect.. ( sort of .. look at pics!! ) . We were still connected. There was the cord, on my belly, shortly after, I cut the cord myself.  ( Saylor’s cord had disconnected from placenta in her birth and so we did not share this experience).

All I can say about my birth team is wow.. these woman are amazing. So patient, so confident, so loving.  they are the ones who helped support my natural birth- with no interventions. They were  fantastic.. so professional and safe and supportive.. I can’t say enough about this team...Ursula, Whitney, Laura, and Megan ( Nurse at GW).


It was the hardest thing I have ever physically done in my life.  Glad to get it off my "bucket list" and so glad to feel our family is complete. I do feel so strong, so empowered. Recovery has been so fabulous, easy, NATURAL... The Yoga postures were really helpful, the breathing got me in and out of mental blocks that surfaced.   I have had 2 VASTLY different experiences and feel SO blessed to have these 2 healthy, happy babies.  I’ll write more about the differences between OB birth and Midwifery birth in the future..to be continued!

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Simple Daily Habits to Ignite Your Passion- Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Scott Dinsmore of LiveYourLegend


“Above all, be true to yourself, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.”- Hardy D. Jackson


For the past 8 years I’ve run experiments on myself and others to better understand what makes us come alive.

This has taken me on ultra-marathons, to the tops of mountains, the bowels of bookstores, around the world and in front of some pretty fascinating people on some very deep soul searching. Finding passion and helping folks do work that embodies it has become a bit of an obsession of mine and has turned up some interesting results.

It turns out passion is not as elusive as we think. Just like daily exercise leads to a more fit and healthy body, there are habits that lead to fire in your belly. If we are to cultivate such a lifestyle we must act accordingly.

1. Surround yourself with passionate people. This is the foundation. Most people don’t believe you can do work you love because they’re constantly around people who hate their jobs and don’t know what excites them. This has to change. Those around you have everything to do with your success and your belief of what’s possible. You’ll either rise up or sink down depending on who’s next to you.

Passion is contagious. You must have an environment that embodies it. You need a support crew who believes what you believe. People who dream as big as you or bigger. Not only will they give you ideas but they’ll condition the belief that doing what you love is the norm. They fuel our passion and make the unthinkable possible, even normal. You’ll begin to expect the same of yourself.

It’s crucial to get this right. It’s why Leo and I get out on barefoot runs in San Francisco every week or so and why I’m on a quest to document 1,000 people across the world living their dreams. We all need encouragement.

Look around you. Do the people you see inspire and motivate you? Are they doing epic things? Do they love their work? Learn how to make genuine connections with new people doing interesting things. Check Craig’s List, MeetUp, coffee shop bulletin boards, Chamber of Commerce, Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn. Find people in your own town and online. Befriend them. Make them a part of your life. Get out on adventures together. Schedule a weekly dinner or drinks just to talk about what’s exciting. Environment is everything.

2. Create space. If you don’t give big ideas room, they’ll never show up. Purpose and passion are no different. Lack of space creates pressure – the ultimate killer of creativity. And nothing requires more creative juices than passion. Start small with five minutes each morning. Schedule downtime. Start walking to work instead of taking the bus. Don’t multitask. Get out in nature. Just be, let things flow and see what comes up. Give yourself permission to dream. Passion thrives in emptiness.

3. Help someone in a way only you can. We all have natural strengths and talents that can dramatically help those around us. What comes easy for you is no doubt challenging for others. We tend to take these for granted, often hardly noticing our own gifts, and rarely share them with others. Passion comes from using those on a routine basis. Ask yourself, What do people thank you for? What do people routinely ask for your help with? Most people’s passions help others in one way or another. Perhaps for you it’s knitting, teaching children math, cooking a good meal or leading a yoga class. Devote time each day to sharing your talents.

4. Keep a journal of what inspires and excites you. Let your thoughts run wild. Most importantly, keep a running list of what inspires you. Books, magazines, movies, people, products, music, stories, careers, everything. Most people have a brush with passion almost daily, unfortunately we’re often too busy thinking of our 97-item todo list to take in the education. Anytime something catches your eye or excites you, open up your journal and get it onto paper. Over the years you will have a running story of how you might enjoy spending your time.

5. Challenge the norm. Ask questions. Don’t take things as gospel just because that’s how they’ve always been done. Don’t aimlessly listen to those around you. Question everything you’ve been doing and are about to do, especially if you don’t enjoy it. Is it really what you want? Is it in line with who you are? Perhaps there’s a better way. There often is.

6. Scare yourself – Live outside your comfort zone. Passionate people thrive off uncertainty. If you aren’t doing things that give you a few goose bumps you’re either not learning, dying or bored out of your mind. None of which are good. Do something at least mildly uncomfortable daily. This could be as small as making a phone call or sharing your art with someone. Be vulnerable. There’s a pretty direct correlation between pushing limits and epic living.

7. Find the right reasons. If a passionate person gets fired, they brush it off and get excited about the opportunity the lost job must be presenting. You can’t control what happens but you can control your reaction to it. What challenges have come up today? How could you reframe them? The juiciest possibilities often have the best disguises. Notice them.

8. Learn something new. Become obsessed with learning everything you can find – new skills, approaches, ideas, you name it. If it interests you then it’s important enough to get in your brain. We have to fuel what excites us. Grab a magazine or book that interests you and read a few pages on the way to work or before bed. Passionate people almost always have a book within reach. Ideas can be found anywhere. Start looking. Be a sponge.

9. Start at blog. Surprise, surprise, right? But blogs are much more powerful than most realize. They’re a simple way to explore and share the thoughts and beliefs you’re excited about and for people to immediately see and provide feedback. Don’t worry about whether you’ll make money from it or who will read it. That’s not the point. The point is to constantly fuel something that interests you.

For years my wife has loved to cook vegetarian meals. Then last month she started a simple blog and the most fascinating thing started to happen. Her cooking changed from something she simply did, to something she eagerly shared and talked to others about. She suddenly had an audience to teach something she cared about. People started to thank her and cook her meals. Now she wants to do something more with it. Maybe private cooking classes or a recipe book.

This would have never come if she hadn’t taken her interest to the next level. It didn’t have to be a blog. That just happens to be one of the easiest ways of doing it these days. Seriously start a blog. It takes a few hours max. Write about what excites you and nothing else. Publish it for the world to see. Do it daily or weekly. Give your passion room to breathe. See what happens.

Your life’s an experiment

Everything you do, everything you try, everything that does or doesn’t work out, whether you like it or not, it’s all an experiment. It’s up to you to decide to learn from it. That’s the ultimate daily practice.

Test how you can help people. Test what excites you. Test what you like. Test what scares you. Realize that if you do what you’ve always done, your results are never going to change.

Living a life of purpose and passion is just that, a way of life. Those who wake up excited aren’t just the lucky ones, they condition themselves to experience and deserve it.

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From Daily OM

Practicing Nonattachment
Allowing Our Children To Be
Truly loving our children requires us to set them free and practice nonattachment. Trust and allow.

Parenting asks us to rise to some of the most difficult challenges this world has to offer, and one of its greatest paradoxes arises around the issue of attachment. On the one hand, successful parenting requires that we love our children, and most of us love in a very attached way. On the other hand, it also requires that we let go of our children at the appropriate times, which means we must practice some level of nonattachment. Many parents find this difficult because we love our children fiercely, more than we will ever love anyone, and this can cause us to overstep our bounds with them as their independence grows. Yet truly loving them requires that we set them free.

Attachment to outcome is perhaps the greatest obstacle on the parenting path, and the one that teaches us the most about the importance of practicing nonattachment. We commonly perceive our children to be extensions of ourselves, imagining that we know what’s best for them, but our children are people in their own right with their own paths to follow in this world. They may be called to move in directions we fear, don’t respect, or don’t understand, yet we must let them go. This letting go happens gradually throughout our lives with our children until we finally honor them as fully grown adults who no longer require our guidance. At this point, it is important that we treat them as peers who may or may not seek our input into their lives. This allows them, and us, to fully realize the greatest gift parents can offer their offspring —independence.

Letting go in any area of life requires a deep trust in the universe, in the overall meaning and purpose of existence. Remembering that there is more to us and our children than meets the eye can help us practice nonattachment, even when we feel overwhelmed by concern and the desire to interfere. We are all souls making our way in the world and making our way, ultimately, back to the same source. This can be our mantra as we let our children go in peace and confidence.

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I nursed Saylor for 15 months. In DC, that's a very, very long time.

Now that I am back in this intimate relationship with Milo, there were a few things that helped me then and  help me now that I want to share to help support your breastfeeding relationship. It can be a challenge, but with the right tools and information, many mamas/babies can be successful.

I really believe that  nursing is one of the biggest challenges of first time parenting. It's NOT necessarily a natural process, it takes work and DOES NOT have to hurt, in fact it SHOULD NOT hurt.

Before Saylor, I did a lot of prep work to get ready for breastfeeding. I read the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by Le Leche League. A MUST have for all nursing mamas. I attended a le leche league meeting.  That was brilliant. I got to see nursing mamas with their babies, all ages ( 6-mos to 3 years)  and got to hear what issues and questions they had.

Then, once she was born I was a regular at the weekly Breastfeeding Center support class. It was awesome. I learned SO much about development, eating, sleeping and motherhood.

1. LEARN how to correctly latch your baby.
2. Be patient with yourself AND your baby.
3. Relax, rest and eat plenty. Stress depletes milk supply.

Local resources 
www.breastfeedingcenter.org- weekly support class, le leche league ( lots of local chapters)
*starting in the fall we will have lil omm support class as well with Nicole, lactation consultant

We are so lucky to have 2 full time lactation consultants at Capital Medical Group, our pediatric group. I met with them with Saylor and again, this time with Milo to check on his latch a week after he was born. This was covered by insurance! YEAH! and turns out.. he IS having some trouble latching on one side.. and I know this b/c one side hurts. so.. we are working on it and I have to be more diligent about watching and noticing his latch and not letting him slip.

I found Sibley's lactation consultants to have lots of varying information. They offered lots of support  with many different suggestions and tips from a variety of consultants.  As a first time mom, I found all the information overwhelming. I really just wanted someone to tell me what to do! At GW, I had the same consultant who came to check on us, she was a very sweet and knowledgeable woman. But I was SO much more relaxed this time about the process, that I really think it helped as well.

Good luck ! Hope this helps you on your journey. 

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Here's the table of contents for the FREE Earth Mama Angel Baby Guide to Herbs and Breastfeeding!

Great resource for those who are choosing to nurse! love their stuff..
http://www.earthmamaangelbaby.com/

Table of Contents

CHAPTER 1: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . page 5 Helpful Herbs for Healthy Breast Milk Production
CHAPTER 2 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . page 8 Ten Non-Herbal Tips to Help Increase Breast Milk Production
CHAPTER 3:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . page 11 Nine Things Your Nipples Wish You Knew About Them
CHAPTER 4:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . page 13 Herbs to Avoid During Breastfeeding
CHAPTER 5:. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .page 17 Now, How About a Nice Cup of Herbal Tea?

http://www.earthmamaangelbaby.com/

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MindfulMamas is offering two 6-week classes (one for moms-to-be and one for brand-new moms) for women who’d like to approach motherhood with more ease than anxiety, with more joy than fear, with more self-care than self-sacrifice. Participants will learn to increase their capacity for staying present in the midst of both calm and chaos … and learn to forgive themselves when they don’t. 

Each 1.5-hour class will be led by two experienced, certified life coaches (and moms!). The classes will be held at The Mindfulness Center in Bethesda. Registration is at http://t.co/M4TMTIm

***

Becoming a mother is an amazing journey filled with love and joy, but, let’s face it, not every moment is bliss. Both before and after baby, you’ve got countless decisions to make. At times, the pressure to make the “right” choices for you and your family can leave you feeling overwhelmed and even guilty.

With the help of MindfulMamas coaches Rebecca Dallek and Michelle Buzgon, you’ll focus on being more mindful of your inner wisdom and less on the external messages about motherhood. You’ll get the support and tools you need to explore what kind of mom you want to be while staying true to your individual identity. You'll also get practical ideas for preparing for baby and for getting through the days (and nights!) once baby is here. Best of all, you’ll do all this while bonding with others on the same journey at the same time.

Topics will include:

·      Evolving relationships with family & friends

·      Shifting identities

·      Work-life choices

·      Navigating the “motherhood shoulds”

·      Pre- & postpartum emotions: What’s normal and what’s not

·      Care & feeding of babies

·      Self-care

·      Mindfulness techniques to discover innate maternal gifts

The classes will be held at The Mindfulness Center in Bethesda. Register today! http://t.co/M4TMTIm

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2 weeks ago, milo was born. Since then I have enjoyed napping with him right on my chest, the delicious treats friends have brought and just relaxing. Today, I felt ready to start some self care that wasn't child related.  I started itching to walk the dog, longing for a yoga session on my mat, and dreaming of some quiet meditation time without falling asleep. 

So tonight, I put Saylor to bed, fed Milo, passed him off to my husband, turned on the tv and put my legs up the wall.  I attempted other postures but it wasn't feeling good. my body was asking me to stop, so I did and I surrendered to a more restorative pose and it was delish!


It felt amazing- returning to postures that are like home for me. Even 10 minutes.  As of tonight, I am deciding to pick one of these each day for the next month and make sure to do 1 of them a day. that's it. I can relax and enjoy this family time AND still make time for me. 10-20 minutes a day..

Here's what I will choose from..
1. meditate
2. Yoga
3. Walk alone or walk the dog
4.  move/exercise  on the elliptical 

that's it. I can pick 1 thing to do each day for 10-30 minutes and do it!

making time for yourself, even in times of change and transition is so important. making a list of things that keep you grounded, keep you sane and help keep you connected to your identity.

The past 2 weeks, I have been focused on motherhood ( almost 100%) and as I start to come back into the real world from this amazing time in our life.. I  want to focus on keeping BALANCE,  and happiness in my life.

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That having 2 would make you love the first one more? I am in awe of the kind and sweet sister that Saylor has become in just 1 week. Her spirit and compassion.. her smile and her light is shining on us each day. I didn't know I had the capacity for  this much love..  these 2 amazing beings are showing me. We are capable of so much more than we know.

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Your birth. Your way.

Are you looking for someone to guide you through the process of creating a childbirth experience that is just right for you?

Women have been birthing babies for thousands of years. We lived in communities surrounded by family and friends. This village offered education, love, companionship, support and education.  In today’s world, where it once took a village to raise a child, we live alone in our own space and distant from family and friends.   Childbirth classes are now a necessity for mothers to be.  Childbirth classes are a gateway to a village of support and knowledge.

Out of hospital childbirth classes help you to understand the birth process and to figure out what type of birth experience you desire.  Today the majority of women birth in hospitals, however birth center and home births are attracting more and more healthy and low-risk mothers.  Water births, VBACs, and alternative birth experiences are desired by many.  My childbirth classes will help the birth team who may not know what type of experience they desire as well as help to facilitate conversations with your provider once you know what you desire in your birth.  My goal is to help you have the ‘birth you desire’. 

My classes prepare you for this amazing experience by: 

·Educating the mother and her partner on how to make healthy and low risk choices in pregnancy, labor and beyond 

·Replacing fear with knowledge and instill confidence by learning comfort measures that allow mothers to trust their bodies in labor and relax 

· Supporting the coach in their role as an advocate and supporting the mother physically, psychologically and emotionally 

·Teaching the parents how to take responsibility for choices, procedures, variations in labor and unexpected circumstances 

·Encouraging and demonstrating a practical skill set including a variety of relaxation techniques, OFP, exercises for stamina, and labor rehearsals 

·Classes are limited in size for individual attention

I have classes starting: 

July 21, 2011 (3 spots left)

September 18, 2011

October 12, 2011 

Ursula Sabia Sukinik, CBRE, CCCE

Childbirth Educator, Birth Doula and Midwife Assistant

BirthYouDesire.com

301.231.5122

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